I had a dream ... it still haunts me.

My dreams have always been "different". They show entire stories of death, tyranny, all that. They last throughout the whole night and I usually forget them by the next evening. I can't wake up from these dreams and once they start, I can only wake up when they finish. These types of dreams foreshadow something in the near future.

I had a dream two weeks ago. Strix had fallen asleep and I envied him just for that. I was sleepless for nearly a week and even though I was exhausted, my body refused to rest. As I sat beside him, lost in my own thoughts, a bottle of human liqueur caught my attention from across the room. It rested on its side on the table and I had found it earlier that day. I drank it. I drank it and several other bottles that I could find in my home. And then I finally passed out. Passed out and dreamt.

I approached him from the back and was standing merely a few feet away when he spoke to me.

"Come sit with me," he said. The wind from the ocean blew his dark hair over his face, concealing his eyes. He rested on a wooden bench that faced the deep, blue ocean. I sat down, silently, beside him, and stared out at the water. The bench stood at the edge of a small cliff that formed a shallow cave on the ocean. A dark red sunset illuminated the sky and illustrated it with shades of pink, yellow, and orange. Above the horizon, where the bright colors were no longer visible, an endless black night decorated with thousands of gleaming stars stared down at us. But we stared into the sun. A cool breeze blew once more and then all sounds hushed. The sound of the ocean below us had become silent and the waves stopped suddenly, as if time had stopped itself. His hair fell from his eyes and onto the sides of his face. I sighed as we made eye contact and for a moment, we forgot all about our lives, our responsibilites, and priorities.

"I know your secret, Dino."
"My," I looked at him questioningly, "secret?"
"Yes, your secret. Your feelings towards a certain somebody, if you will." I heard his words clearly and felt a warm sensation spread across my face. I was blushing but it was almost too dark to tell.
"And what do you know about it?"
"I know who it is."
"Who is it?" Raising an eyebrow, I had to make sure that he was telling the truth before I set off to find the traitor that spoke of this. It would be especially difficult to find him or her because I hadn't told anybody. He grinned at me and once again, we made eye contact.

The first part of my dream had ended and I slept for a few minutes without any dreams at all. Then, after several dreamless moments, my dream continued but from a different time now.

I was standing over him, staring into his startled eyes. He was lying in my arms and I cradled him slightly above the floor. We were alone in a dark and empty room, possibly in a warehouse. I smiled widely, exposing my fangs that gleamed in the light from the candle that I had lit just moments before. Lowering my mouth to his neck, it was a matter of minutes until he stopped struggling and laid lifelessly in my arms. I released him onto the floor and the corpse thumped as it fell. I stepped back and wiped the corners of my mouth with my sleeve. It was now stained with the blood of my loved one. One that I have loved for eternity. Now, his blood ran through my veins and we were forever bonded together. I stared once more into his once beautiful, but now inert eyes and brushed a strand of hair off of his face.

Unfortunately, this wasn't the way I had hoped we would bond. I awoke with a gasp as the sun rose and shook my head to clear my thoughts. Still trembling, I continued throughout the day in attempt to calm myself.

It has now been two weeks and this dream still lurks in my mind. Every night, it replays itself and I watch, helplessly, as I feed and end his life in my arms. Perhaps I should see a doctor or maybe stop sleeping; it worked last time.

Pointless Guessing

I am simply astonished by how careless those mortals can be. Vampires are, by far, more sensitive. At first, I was taken by surprise by the amount of people that approached me asking "Who is he?" and "Who is she?". Obviously, if I'm not openly stating it, then there must be a reason that I'm keeping it private. But of course, the guesses were most amusing. I began to ask for reasons and some people had good reasons while others simply said that it was a deep feeling they had. I don't understand how you can have a deep feeling about somebody else's romantic life (or romance-lacking life). Then, I realized how it was all just egocentricity. I realized that any person that I trusted with this information could use it for blackmail. Not that I have anything against blackmail, I just wouldn't want this to be used against me. Just as I thought, not a single vampire has pestered me more than once with this pointless concern that seems to be on the minds of nearly everyone. They simply ask, understand when I tell them that I am not ready to tell the world, and leave to ponder and I appreciate that. I suppose I'll tell the world soon of my secret. After all, everybody is SO excited to know - not that they care.

He still hasn't noticed.

(OOC: For those who are interested, some of the guesses were correct. No prizes will be given. [People have asked, ya know])

Love and Sadness

Oh, and just when I think that things are getting better.. I'm wrong.

It's no surprise that he loves her. No surprise at all that he would probably give his life and everything he has for her. Charming, ain't it? I mean, yeah, she's alive and all (as compared to me) but the dead need a little lovin' too! And she's a bit nicer than everybody else but she's always in the way. My last love belonged to her and I stepped back and found another who, soon, became hers. And now, when I finally move on, guess what happens? He's hers. Really, by now, I should expect this but it just seems to cut deeper and deeper every time it happens. *sigh* Oh well.

Somebody once told me, "love and sadness make the perfect couple". It's true. Can't have one without the other.

Lately...

Lately, I have been finding the lands to, hmm, lack control. Maybe, it is the fault of the gods. Maybe, it is our fault.

There are constant battles amongst me. Those who I have once befriended have become my worst enemies and the other way around. Perhaps our entire planet has shifted.

My son, who I am forced to raise in this terrible area, is picking up on the violence. He, recently, tore the head off of one of his toys. I hope that it is just instinct but I know that he is absorbing what he sees around him. I wonder, every night, what he thinks when he sees them talk, when they argue. And I find myself helpless because I can't protect him from it.

My son is fatherless. My only hope for his father seems to be deteriorating right before me. As my adored one's heart quickly changes, again, I am helpless and forced to watch from the side. From the side. It's always "from the side". And, I wonder when it will be different. A psychic once told me that he would soon change his opinions but I fear that my patience is growing thin.

On other notes, there seems to be some more controversy within the lands. A group of strong-minded *pause* gentlemen have some problems with my friends and me. And really, I couldn't care less. To me, their strong words and weak attempts at hurting somebody are at most pathetic and definitely entertaining. I laugh every time they open their mouths and I cry from laughter when they stutter because they can't think of anything decent to say to me. They have told me that my kind is "weak, pathetic" and that we all "deserve a stake drive through our hearts." Really, that's a bit harsh but still, pleasant to hear. What they don't know, my foolish friends, I mean, is that vampires are in NO way weak nor have we ever been weak. But again, with the changes that have been made, if you refuse to physically engage in battle, you are weak. And that brings me to my next point, pathetic. As I was watching after Strix, I decided to take a quick trip to my library and look up "pathetic". What I found was least surprising:

Pathetic: adjective: Causing or evoking pity, sympathetic sadness, sorrow, etc.; pitiful; pitiable.

And we are not pathetic. We do not cause pity. And of course, the ever most harsh comment about stakes and hearts. I'd like to see him try. And I'll greet anybody with open arms, because I'm a mother, and because a three-year old is watching my every move, if they come to me with a stake. And then I’ll... well, I'll leave that for you to ponder.

Until next time.........

Hello...

Hello, readers. I decided to attempt writing again. Many forgotten years ago, I used to write. I even published several articles that I doubt you have heard of.

My life is very plain now. I don't work anymore as an herbalist though I do continue to cast spells on special occasions. No longer do I guide Intempesta Nox and I feel as though they have forgotten all about me and moved on. Perhaps this is the way it was meant to be.

I am seldom found wandering the streets unless you take strolls under the moonlight. I am usually found dwelling about a certain somebody who I would devote my heart to. If only he knew.

As surprising as it may be, I am now a mother. Only a short while ago, I met my own mother. My son, though lively, has taken after me as a vampire. I take time to warn you to act with haste because he doesn't control himself too well and you might find yourself with bite marks. Don't come complaining to me. I do not care.

That's all I wanted to say. Goodbye, reader.

Until next time...